Bloggable

It's not like I don't have anything to say, that I don't think about anything. It's just that I keep forgetting every time I think of something I should blog about. I think it has something (well almost everything) to do with being pregnant. I have a thought one moment and then the next it is completely gone; like it didn't even exist. Often I am driving to work and see something or think, "oh yeah, i should write a blog about that." Then, by the time I get home, a million and a half other thoughts have gone in and out of my consciousness and I no longer have a bloggable topic; I have mush head. So today, "here's to having a mush head."

And, as a further thought... if you would like to know, my baby now urinates about a pint a day. Fun factoid of the week.

Reflective

Often when I am home without Andy for the night, I get a mode (or mood) of reflection. I usually find myself thinking about the past, and looking toward the future. Tonight I watched a dvd that my students created for me when I left the church in California. It was crazy to see just how young I looked only a few years ago. I can't believe that it has already been 3 years since I was living out there. As I watched the video, I found myself so thankful for the time I did have and for everything that I learned. Also, I find myself so thankful for where I am now. I have an amazing husband who loves me more than I even understand, a great community, a baby girl on the way, and the hope of living some version of my dream of what community in Christ can really look like. I remember back on the days of Riverview Church with fondness, but look forward to the journey we find ourselves on now.

Every Blade of Grass

Andy and I spent this weekend at Wheaton's annual theology conference. We have gone to various sessions in the past but decided that this weekend would be one worth investing in. The title of the conference was, "Jesus, Paul and the People of God; A Theological Dialogue with N.T. Wright." For those of you that know my husband at all, you will know that he might have a little bit of a man crush on Bishop Wright (not to mention he really likes his theology). Knowing this myself, and hearing little bits and pieces about this theology of Jesus, Paul and the kingdom of God, I endeavored to read Wright's Surprised by Hope. Although I didn't get completely through the book before the conference, I was glad for what I had read and it helped in deciphering some of the lingo that was used over the past two days. As I listened to different speakers, and as I reflect on it now, I am beginning to like more of what I hear from Wright. However, upon opening my Bible this morning I realized that I may be going through a huge shift in all I have ever known.
I am realizing that the way I read Scripture is probably going to change. I no longer want to read it, seeking to understand only what I can glean for practical purposes today. The Word is so much more than that. It is a specific text, written for a specific people, with a specific purpose. I want to understand more of what that purpose was. Now, I am not saying that we can't take away anything from the text for practicality today, just that it isn't the whole point. Scripture is so much bigger than I ever understood it to be.
The same applies for how I view Jesus. I have thought about Jesus and have understood him to an extent. However, I am beginning to see that Jesus is so much more than who I have boxed him in to be. A truly historical Jesus is most likely nothing like the man that I have pictured in my own head. He is someone far better.
And then there is the view of the kingdom. I am only just begin to grasp what it means to talk about the kingdom of God; to understand what it means to talk about the kingdom being here now and to understand what it means to say that creation is being redeemed slowly, over time. I do know that creation is groaning out, crying because it knows things are not as they should be. One day, God's glory will consume the earth. Every blade of grass, every wave, every rock will radiate with the glory of the Lord. As I seek to understand more fully all of these things, I cling to the hope of God's glory, to the hope of redemption.

Two Things

Most days, my mind is consumed by one of two things: our baby and finding a job for Andy. For those of you who don't know, we have decided to pursue a path of bi-vocational ministry in a church in Westmont, IL. We find ourselves in a place of believing that our church's funds can be better used to share the love of Jesus with each other and the community around us, than by paying full-time pastors. This has left us with the task of finding a job for Andy that is not a full-time pastorate position (as we had originally planned at the beginning of seminary). We have found this task to be draining and quite defeating. Although we have only been searching for a couple of months, it seems like an eternity. With thousands of people out of work, it has proved to be almost impossible to get a job. We understand and trust that the God of the universe knows our needs and intends to fill them the way He sees fit, but my belly isn't getting any smaller and soon we will have to care for another little family member. We earnestly covet your prayers as we seek to remain faithful to the calling we have received.

Andrew James

I love my husband. He makes me smile (even in the morning) and makes me laugh when no one else can. He reaches into the depths of who I am and encourages me to be just that, who I am. He is gentle and kind, always seeking to love me rightly. Even when we argue, I see how much he loves me. He is my mirror, telling me I'm beautiful and loving every part of me. I can already tell what a good daddy he will be to our little girl. It makes me cry just thinking of how wonderful he will be at being a father. I don't have to worry about our baby girl not feeling loved or valued by daddy, because he already cherishes and loves her so much. It is truly hard to put in correct verbiage, just what Andy means to me or how we have grown in our love for one another. I know one thing; every day I fall deeper and harder for this man. My life is forever changed because of who he is and who we are together. I love him with all of my heart.

Outie or Innie

The other morning I was standing in front of the mirror and it occurred to me that quite potentially, as I become more pregnant, my innie might eventually become an outie (I am speaking about belly buttons of course). I've always liked having an innie and it really is sort of a shock to think about having an outie. Then the question becomes, will my new found outie go back to being an innie after I give birth? AND, what happens to a woman who already has an outie? Does it just go more out? All of these questions I am asking and so I have taken it upon myself to google this very topic. Here are my findings:

"The belly button is the scar of the connection of the umbilical cord. The deepest part of the belly button is tethered to the abdominal wall fascia. The shape of the belly button is from the overlying fat and skin with the deep attachment holding the typical "innie" shape. With the distension of the belly of pregnancy, the abdominal wall pushes out. This can change the shape of the belly button, for some more shallow and for others, "pop out." "In a distended stomach, the belly button expands. The belly button diameter is bigger. Belly button thicker walls become thinner. The umbilicus central depressed area spreads out. It is distorted like a feature of a balloon during inflation. For most pregnant belly buttons, this is a temporary situation that reverses after delivery. If the skin shrinks back to normal, the belly button typically reverts. For a small number of women, a weak deep belly button attachment can loosen leaving an "outie" after pregnancy." (taken from plasticsurgery4u.com)

Loud Noises

Being pregnant has made be ultra-sensitive to noise. Anything too loud and I absolutely freak out. Honestly, I can't tell you how many times I have been at work and had to grip the end of my desk in an effort not to fly off the handle about a person talking or even (if you can imagine) stapling too loudly. Then at home, I am constantly turning the television and/or music down. It has really become somewhat of a controlling thing. I wonder if this is a normal pregnancy experience or if it is manifesting itself in me alone. Strange, very strange.